A Fresh Start

Language is Powerful

Thu, 29 Aug 2013 22:37:38 GMT

This is from Precision Nutrition, and it's about talking to clients as a fitness professional, but I thought this would be great stuff to use in my self-talk. (http://www.precisionnutrition.com/effective-coach-talk)

You can help clients examine their behaviors and work towards their goals with the following kinds of questions.
EXPLORE
Ask open-ended questions that explore options, values, and possible outcomes, without judgement.
“What things are most important to you? How does your exercise and eating fit into this?”
“What sorts of things would you like to accomplish in your life?”
“What would you like to see change?”
“If things were better with your eating/exercise, what would be different?”
“What have you already tried? What worked/didn’t work?”
IMAGINE
Help clients visualize a new way of living by using their creative imaginations (just like in kindergarten).
“Imagine you can…”
“Imagine you are already…”
“Imagine that you have the body and health you desire. What did it take for you to achieve it?”
BREED SUCCESS
Be solution-focused and emphasize that often, clients have already succeeded. All you need to do is help them expand the awesome.
“In the past, when were you successful with this, even just a little bit?”
“How could we do more of that?”
SENSE INTO PROBLEMS
Share your observations and intuitions. This is non-confrontational, and helps to make sure you and the client are on the same page with the immediate issue.
“I get the sense that…”
“It seems to me like…”
SPECULATE
Open-ended, speculative statements can get clients thinking and responding to possible choices. These aren’t exactly questions, but act like them.
“I wonder what it would be like if you…”
“I wonder if we could try…”
EVOKE CHANGE TALK
Get the client talking about change on their own terms. Examples include:
“In what ways does this concern you?”
“If you decided to make a change, what makes you think you could do it?”
“How would you like things to be different?”
“How would things be better if you changed?”
“What concerns you now about your current exercise and eating patterns?”
ASSESS READINESS
Establish how confident and ready a client is to make a change. No readiness means no change — no matter how great a coach you are.
Once clients identify a behavior they want to change, follow up with this kind of question:
“If you decided to change, on a scale of 1-10, how confident are you that you could change, when 1 represents not at all confident and 10 equals extremely confident?”
If they respond with a 9 or 10, great. If they respond with a lower number, ask them how they can make the selected behavior less overwhelming.
We like to use the “Roland Rule,” named for our colleague Roland Fisher:
“If you suck at something, cut it in half.”
In other words, keep dividing a large problem or challenge into small, manageable steps until you can handle it.
PLAN NEXT STEPS
Instead of directing a client forward, have them generate their own solutions. Examples:
“So, given all this, what do you think you will do next?”
“What’s next for you?”
“If nothing changes, what do you see happening in five years? If you decide to change, what will it be like?”
“How would you like things to be different?”
GIVE ADVICE… CAREFULLY
Find out if clients want your advice. Some will, some won’t. If you do give advice, keep it general and experiential. For example:
“In my work with clients like yourself, I’ve found that…”

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20 days and counting

Mon, 14 May 2012 18:44:40 GMT

Well, in case anyone sees this (or wants to crosspost), I am now 20 days from setting out from San Francisco on my bicycle with 2,000 plus other cyclists on AIDS LifeCycle 11. We will ride 545 miles over 7 days. I'm not sure if I'm up to the challenge, but I will get out there, hit my pace, and do the best I can. My love, Ray, will be out there with me. I'm incredibly grateful for all the support we've been given. So far, I have raised over $5,000. My goal is $10K.

Ray and I are planning a Send-off Barbecue with a final fundraising opportunity on May 28th at 5pm at a private home in East San Diego. If you would like to join us, please comment and I will send you an invitation. Feel free to share this with friends.

We ride because we can. We ride for those who can't due to their physical condition. We ride for those who had their lives cut short by HIV/AIDS. We ride so that one day AIDS will be no more.

If you would like to donate, my page is http://www.tofighthiv.org/goto/hmout

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LJ outage

Fri, 08 Apr 2011 16:42:04 GMT

It appears that LJ may have been attacked by people associated with the Kremlin to suppress speech. This link explains what happened: http://putinwatcher.blogspot.com/2011/04/cyber-war-on-russian-activist-bloggers.html

Another link with basic information: http://www.globalpost.com/dispatches/globalpost-blogs/bric-yard/russian-blog-site-under-attack

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MOBA!

Wed, 01 Dec 2010 01:52:00 GMT

This year, instead of my season of gratitude, I'm going to try 31 days of giving. I've noticed that I have a hard time giving in certain ways, so I'm going to stretch out of my comfort zone and give every day. I don't want this to be about ego, so I'm not planning on reporting what I do, but how it feels. I expect it will feel strange, and sometimes really good. Hopefully more good than strange. Mainly I want to practice living abundantly, and move away from the scarcity mindset.

Tomorrow starts the Month of Bounteous Abundance (MOBA for short?). If anyone knows of resources around this general idea, please share them!

In other news, I got a new job, and will be starting in a different department at the university starting Monday. Yeay me!

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Opinion article on Obama/midterms

Fri, 05 Nov 2010 20:36:12 GMT

http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/11/02/how-obama-saved-capitalism-and-lost-the-midterms/

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Quote of the day

Fri, 05 Nov 2010 15:55:05 GMT

"We must be silent before we can listen. We must listen before we can
learn. We must learn before we can prepare. We must prepare before we can
serve. We must serve before we can lead."

William Arthur Ward

Silence - Listening - Learning - Preparation - Service - Leadership

At the end of the cycle does it begin over again? Are you back to silence? I suspect that is how it is supposed to work.

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Another article about language and thought

Thu, 28 Oct 2010 21:56:55 GMT

http://www.edge.org/3rd_culture/boroditsky09/boroditsky09_index.html

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Cool cartoon about meditation

Wed, 11 Aug 2010 18:26:36 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9l-YYqjhVi4

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ENFP info

Sun, 08 Aug 2010 17:02:00 GMT

As an ENFP, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you take things in primarily via your intuition. Your secondary mode is internal, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit in with your personal value system.

ENFPs are warm, enthusiastic people, typically very bright and full of potential. They live in the world of possibilities, and can become very passionate and excited about things. Their enthusiasm lends them the ability to inspire and motivate others, more so than we see in other types. They can talk their way in or out of anything. They love life, seeing it as a special gift, and strive to make the most out of it.

ENFPs have an unusually broad range of skills and talents. They are good at most things which interest them. Project-oriented, they may go through several different careers during their lifetime. To onlookers, the ENFP may seem directionless and without purpose, but ENFPs are actually quite consistent, in that they have a strong sense of values which they live with throughout their lives. Everything that they do must be in line with their values. An ENFP needs to feel that they are living their lives as their true Self, walking in step with what they believe is right. They see meaning in everything, and are on a continuous quest to adapt their lives and values to achieve inner peace. They're constantly aware and somewhat fearful of losing touch with themselves. Since emotional excitement is usually an important part of the ENFP's life, and because they are focused on keeping "centered", the ENFP is usually an intense individual, with highly evolved values.

An ENFP needs to focus on following through with their projects. This can be a problem area for some of these individuals. Unlike other Extraverted types, ENFPs need time alone to center themselves, and make sure they are moving in a direction which is in sync with their values. ENFPs who remain centered will usually be quite successful at their endeavors. Others may fall into the habit of dropping a project when they become excited about a new possibility, and thus they never achieve the great accomplishments which they are capable of achieving.

Most ENFPs have great people skills. They are genuinely warm and interested in people, and place great importance on their inter-personal relationships. ENFPs almost always have a strong need to be liked. Sometimes, especially at a younger age, an ENFP will tend to be "gushy" and insincere, and generally "overdo" in an effort to win acceptance. However, once an ENFP has learned to balance their need to be true to themselves with their need for acceptance, they excel at bringing out the best in others, and are typically well-liked. They have an exceptional ability to intuitively understand a person after a very short period of time, and use their intuition and flexibility to relate to others on their own level.

Because ENFPs live in the world of exciting possibilities, the details of everyday life are seen as trivial drudgery. They place no importance on detailed, maintenance-type tasks, and will frequently remain oblivous to these types of concerns. When they do have to perform these tasks, they do not enjoy themselves. This is a challenging area of life for most ENFPs, and can be frustrating for ENFP's family members.

An ENFP who has "gone wrong" may be quite manipulative - and very good it. The gift of gab which they are blessed with makes it naturally easy for them to get what they want. Most ENFPs will not abuse their abilities, because that would not jive with their value systems.

ENFPs sometimes make serious errors in judgment. They have an amazing ability to intuitively perceive the truth about a person or situation, but when they apply judgment to their perception, they may jump to the wrong conclusions.

ENFPs who have not learned to follow through may have a difficult time remaining happy in marital relationships. Always seeing the possibilities of what could be, they may become bored with what actually is. The strong sense of values will keep many ENFPs dedicated to their relationships. However, ENFPs like a little excitement in their lives, and are best matched with individuals who are comfortable with change and new experiences.

Having an ENFP parent can be a fun-filled experience, but may be stressful at times for children with strong Sensing or Judging tendancies. Such children may see the ENFP parent as inconsistent and difficult to understand, as the children are pulled along in the whirlwind life of the ENFP. Sometimes the ENFP will want to be their child's best friend, and at other times they will play the parental authoritarian. But ENFPs are always consistent in their value systems, which they will impress on their children above all else, along with a basic joy of living.

ENFPs are basically happy people. They may become unhappy when they are confined to strict schedules or mundane tasks. Consequently, ENFPs work best in situations where they have a lot of flexibility, and where they can work with people and ideas. Many go into business for themselves. They have the ability to be quite productive with little supervision, as long as they are excited about what they're doing.

Because they are so alert and sensitive, constantly scanning their environments, ENFPs often suffer from muscle tension. They have a strong need to be independent, and resist being controlled or labeled. They need to maintain control over themselves, but they do not believe in controlling others. Their dislike of dependence and suppression extends to others as well as to themselves.

ENFPs are charming, ingenuous, risk-taking, sensitive, people-oriented individuals with capabilities ranging across a broad spectrum. They have many gifts which they will use to fulfill themselves and those near them, if they are able to remain centered and master the ability of following through.

Jungian functional preference ordering for ENFP:

Dominant: Extraverted Intuition
Auxiliary: Introverted Feeling
Tertiary: Extraverted Thinking
Inferior: Introverted Sensing

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
from http://www.personalitypage.com/html/portr…

you can take the test at http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtype…

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How to Keep Someone With You Forever.

Wed, 16 Jun 2010 21:11:22 GMT

Found on Caprine's LJ:

http://issendai.livejournal.com/572510.html

This resonates somewhat uncomfortably.

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War Requiem is done!

Wed, 09 Jun 2010 21:42:46 GMT

And it was great! Here's a glowing review from a San Diego website: http://www.sandiego.com/arts/la-jolla-symphony-and-chorus-present-benjamin-britten-war-requiem

Yeay us!

I'm looking forward to our 2010-11 season which features Missa Solemnis, Harmonium Mass, and St. Matthew's Passion. Woohoo!

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Pretty cool

Wed, 14 Apr 2010 16:54:55 GMT

Wow, this looks pretty similar to LJ. So my first job is to find my friends here, and set up cross posting. Then look into importing my old LJ entries. Then find my feeds and other stuff here.

I think I might like it here (especially without the ads!).

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