A Fresh Start

I am grateful:
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30) for AAA membership.

Friday was a good day. Worked for a couple of hours, then we went to our holiday lunch, and played the gift game. After that we were done for the day, and I was so grateful! I went to the AAA office, and got an extension for my car, so I don't have to stress about it. It was so easy, and took a total of maybe 10 minutes. I still have some serious work to do on my credit though. Then I went out and did a bit of shopping for Christmas. I'm looking forward to seeing people this weekend. I stopped by the condo and saw my Ex, and got some help with wrapping (She's great at that!). Then I headed over to J's house and had a good conversation with her. Life is good, and I'm glad that I get some alone time during the day today, 'cuz I haven't taken time all week.

I am grateful:
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25) that J gave me a ride and we got to have a good conversation. And that he escorted me to the office party.
26) for free lunches.

Sunday
Up relatively early, after being woken by her youngest, I got up and did some catch up on L's computer (since I was off all day Saturday). Then it was off for a quick breakfast before heading back to drop off K. and go home to San Diego with J. It was so good to get time alone with L. and J. this weekend. A quick nap, then off to J's house so we could go to my department party. After my officemates got there, I had a good time. Thank you so much, J!!!

Monday
work is boring. We had a presenter whose style annoyed me at our team meeting (but got yummy lunch!), then I spent two and a half hours being bored and hoping that I could do work. Then I headed over to Shakti for class which was good as usual. Very grateful to the girls for giving me dinner and chatting some more. I'm glad that I'm finding some of them I can mesh with a bit.

I am grateful:
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22) for surprise gifts from faraway friends.

So my day started out well yesterday-- I opened a piece of mail to discover that it was a gift, and I was really happy to get it. Then off to work extra early because my supervisor and I went on a field trip. I called my mom on the way in, because it was her birthday and she's on the east coast. She didn't pick up, but she did call me back later, and we had a conversation that was 2 parts good and 3 parts stress. The stress was because they are worried about me because they don't know what's going on, but are aware that I have some financial issues.

I talked about it because she caught me as I was going into the credit union. Good news is that they have a car buying service that will work out well; bad news is that my credit is not wonderful, and I will probably have to get something less desirable than I was hoping for. The applications are in, and I should hear back today. *crossing fingers* I will get through the credit stuff, and will set myself up so that this doesn't happen again.

Then it was home, and I cooked and did laundry and talked with several people. Ooh, I have to add that to my list-- I'm really grateful that I'm getting comfortable with cooking. I made kale and beets, but I just ate the kale and some quinoa. I feel really good when I cook food for myself. I love kale because it changes colors to this really pretty green when you cook it. I also like beets a lot, but now my nail beds are all stained. My coworker suggested I get a manicure to remove it. I'm gonna see if somebody might be up to going with me...

Anyway, it's Friday, yeay!

I am grateful:
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19) for the cafeteria at work, and the girls at Shakti.

I had a hard time thinking up one for yesterday. I was feeling angry and reactive for most of the day. I am grateful for the cafeteria, and had a fresh-made breakfast burrito with my coworker. I am also grateful for the girls at Shakti, who offered me food and open ears before class last night.

I am grateful:
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16) for appropriate boundaries with my coworkers.

I had lunch with the coworker I'm closest with today. We each have shared things that we don't wish to be public knowledge with the rest of the office, in particular our inappropriate boss. There was a moment where she made a quick joke about kinky christmas ornaments, and I didn't go there, and I'm so glad I didn't. I also chose not to share the fact that I have been asked to redo the incompetent one's work in the office. It's good practice for me to have some intimacy that doesn't include sexual subjects. Most of my relationships include sex as a common topic, but it's not appropriate at work. I am glad that I can do that.

I'm also glad that I could repair my integrity today by following through on a few things, and showing up to do the decorations for the inter-club party. It was fun, and although I may not have much decorating sense, it worked. I made the best little gingerbread man. Hopefully I will get pics to share.

I will go to sing at Christmas on the Promenade tomorrow, and then head up to see L. I am thinking that this might be the last time I drive myself up there in this car. I think I will be riding with others for the remaining two trips this year, and then I will be purchasing a new vehicle. Speaking of which, I should head over to the Credit Union tomorrow...

I am grateful:
1) that I got to experience being around a group of people I didn't know and feeling comfortable and enjoying myself.
2) that I can always trust certain friends to take things to the next level :D
3) to feel acknowledged and accepted by L's friends.
4) that L cares enough to ask important questions and to listen to the answers.
5) that I have made noticeable progress in the past 3 months.
6) that I had a really good therapy session today.
7) for all the opportunities I am getting to learn and grow, and the supportive environment to grow in.
8) for pats on the back.
9) for friends who show up when they say they will, and who let me know when they won't. Also, for friends who take care of themselves.
10) for my car, but also grateful that I have the resources to replace it.
11) that the concert was wonderful, and well received.
12) for Shakti Rising.
13) for my boss and my supervisor.

Yesterday-- Work was work, and I got to go off with L. for almost two hours for lunch. I got a call from Shakti asking if I wanted to be an apprentice, and I said 'not now', but the answer is actually 'no'. They have a wonderful concept, but it's not made for people who have to live in the world yet. Then, I went to class at Shakti, which was awesome! I got to learn more about different herbs, and we made herbed butter and other stuff, and it was fun. I was a little sad that the other girls were not interested in being social as we did it. There's a cold going around Sunshine House, and a bit of darkness at the moment. I will continue doing the Living the Seasons class, but I will pass on the rest for now.

Today-- Worked late, in exchange for time off for Dr's appt. I love that they are willing to be flexible. My probation ends on Thursday, so we met this morning to talk about my review and next steps. It was all very positive, and focused on what I want out of my work and where I want to go from here. They want to help me get into a graduate program. And they'll be promoting me as soon as they can. :-D

I am grateful:
1) that I got to experience being around a group of people I didn't know and feeling comfortable and enjoying myself.
2) that I can always trust certain friends to take things to the next level :D
3) to feel acknowledged and accepted by L's friends.
4) that L cares enough to ask important questions and to listen to the answers.
5) that I have made noticeable progress in the past 3 months.
6) that I had a really good therapy session today.
7) for all the opportunities I am getting to learn and grow, and the supportive environment to grow in.
8) for pats on the back.
9) for friends who show up when they say they will, and who let me know when they won't. Also, for friends who take care of themselves.
10) for my car, but also grateful that I have the resources to replace it.

I failed my smog check today. My car (Ramona) is GP-- a gross polluter. The bad news is this means I can't renew my registration. The good news is that apparently the DMV *really* doesn't want these cars on the road, so I have an opportunity to dismantle her and get $1000 back. I need to follow up and see if this is true, but if it is, it's not much less than what I paid for Ramona 18 months ago, and I've put over 30,000 miles on her in that time. So, I need to follow up on this, and start looking at my options for purchasing a new car. I don't know if I can afford a new car, but I should be able to get something better than my current one. Ramona has been good to me, but it seems like that time has come.

I am grateful:
1) that I got to experience being around a group of people I didn't know and feeling comfortable and enjoying myself.
2) that I can always trust certain friends to take things to the next level :D
3) to feel acknowledged and accepted by L's friends.
4) that L cares enough to ask important questions and to listen to the answers.
5) that I have made noticeable progress in the past 3 months.
6) that I had a really good therapy session today.
7) for all the opportunities I am getting to learn and grow, and the supportive environment to grow in.
8) for pats on the back.

Although my self-confidence has increased tremendously, I still love getting pats on the back. I finished my part of a project today, and was told that I did a good job. I was kind of expecting them to ask for more changes, but I guess I got it right :) It's been 6 months since I left the Japanese company that horribly mismanaged me. I'm so happy and grateful that I'm now at a workplace where I get direction and feedback and they're happy with the work I do and tell me so!

I am grateful:
1) that I got to experience being around a group of people I didn't know and feeling comfortable and enjoying myself.
2) that I can always trust certain friends to take things to the next level :D
3) to feel acknowledged and accepted by L's friends.
4) that L cares enough to ask important questions and to listen to the answers.
5) that I have made noticeable progress in the past 3 months.
6) that I had a really good therapy session today.

It was a busy day-- my boss had to leave on personal business, and we found out that our water cooler is leaving with our officemates on Friday. This of course knocks everything down the priority list, and I have 6 people to schedule, 2 of whom think they get to make their own schedules. I feel good about the work I'm doing, and I'm getting lots of pats on the back. My plate is finally full (and a little overflowing), which is good. I didn't like being bored at work, even if it meant I got to post more.

Therapy was very productive. I actually found the center of some of my stuff around money and spending/hoarding and that's pretty cool. I feel like I'm integrating everything so much better than even a month or two ago. It's progress, and that makes me happy and very grateful.

I actually wrote this last night, and fell asleep before I posted it. Oh well :)

I am grateful:
1) that I got to experience being around a group of people I didn't know and feeling comfortable and enjoying myself.
2) that I can always trust certain friends to take things to the next level :D
3) to feel acknowledged and accepted by L's friends.
4) that L cares enough to ask important questions and to listen to the answers.

Saturday, I spent the day cleaning and cooking. I was very happy to contribute to our gathering. I made rice without a rice cooker *gasp* :-) Dinner was excellent, and then we went to L's friends' house. It was my first time meeting them, and they are wonderful. I look forward to getting to know them. I was touched that they welcomed me so warmly.

Today we whiled away the morning talking, and some important stuff came up. I'm very grateful to be able to feel safe enough to talk about these things. Then it was home to rehearsal. After that, I headed to my BFF's house and had leftovers from their Saturday dinner that I missed. Yummy food!! I love yams and cranberries!