A Fresh Start

This is from Precision Nutrition, and it's about talking to clients as a fitness professional, but I thought this would be great stuff to use in my self-talk. (http://www.precisionnutrition.com/effective-coach-talk)


You can help clients examine their behaviors and work towards their goals with the following kinds of questions.
EXPLORE
Ask open-ended questions that explore options, values, and possible outcomes, without judgement.
“What things are most important to you? How does your exercise and eating fit into this?”
“What sorts of things would you like to accomplish in your life?”
“What would you like to see change?”
“If things were better with your eating/exercise, what would be different?”
“What have you already tried? What worked/didn’t work?”
IMAGINE
Help clients visualize a new way of living by using their creative imaginations (just like in kindergarten).
“Imagine you can…”
“Imagine you are already…”
“Imagine that you have the body and health you desire. What did it take for you to achieve it?”
BREED SUCCESS
Be solution-focused and emphasize that often, clients have already succeeded. All you need to do is help them expand the awesome.
“In the past, when were you successful with this, even just a little bit?”
“How could we do more of that?”
SENSE INTO PROBLEMS
Share your observations and intuitions. This is non-confrontational, and helps to make sure you and the client are on the same page with the immediate issue.
“I get the sense that…”
“It seems to me like…”
SPECULATE
Open-ended, speculative statements can get clients thinking and responding to possible choices. These aren’t exactly questions, but act like them.
“I wonder what it would be like if you…”
“I wonder if we could try…”
EVOKE CHANGE TALK
Get the client talking about change on their own terms. Examples include:
“In what ways does this concern you?”
“If you decided to make a change, what makes you think you could do it?”
“How would you like things to be different?”
“How would things be better if you changed?”
“What concerns you now about your current exercise and eating patterns?”
ASSESS READINESS
Establish how confident and ready a client is to make a change. No readiness means no change — no matter how great a coach you are.
Once clients identify a behavior they want to change, follow up with this kind of question:
“If you decided to change, on a scale of 1-10, how confident are you that you could change, when 1 represents not at all confident and 10 equals extremely confident?”
If they respond with a 9 or 10, great. If they respond with a lower number, ask them how they can make the selected behavior less overwhelming.
We like to use the “Roland Rule,” named for our colleague Roland Fisher:
“If you suck at something, cut it in half.”
In other words, keep dividing a large problem or challenge into small, manageable steps until you can handle it.
PLAN NEXT STEPS
Instead of directing a client forward, have them generate their own solutions. Examples:
“So, given all this, what do you think you will do next?”
“What’s next for you?”
“If nothing changes, what do you see happening in five years? If you decide to change, what will it be like?”
“How would you like things to be different?”
GIVE ADVICE… CAREFULLY
Find out if clients want your advice. Some will, some won’t. If you do give advice, keep it general and experiential. For example:
“In my work with clients like yourself, I’ve found that…”

It appears that LJ may have been attacked by people associated with the Kremlin to suppress speech. This link explains what happened: http://putinwatcher.blogspot.com/2011/04/cyber-war-on-russian-activist-bloggers.html

Another link with basic information: http://www.globalpost.com/dispatches/globalpost-blogs/bric-yard/russian-blog-site-under-attack

As an ENFP, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you take things in primarily via your intuition. Your secondary mode is internal, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit in with your personal value system.

ENFPs are warm, enthusiastic people, typically very bright and full of potential. They live in the world of possibilities, and can become very passionate and excited about things. Their enthusiasm lends them the ability to inspire and motivate others, more so than we see in other types. They can talk their way in or out of anything. They love life, seeing it as a special gift, and strive to make the most out of it.

ENFPs have an unusually broad range of skills and talents. They are good at most things which interest them. Project-oriented, they may go through several different careers during their lifetime. To onlookers, the ENFP may seem directionless and without purpose, but ENFPs are actually quite consistent, in that they have a strong sense of values which they live with throughout their lives. Everything that they do must be in line with their values. An ENFP needs to feel that they are living their lives as their true Self, walking in step with what they believe is right. They see meaning in everything, and are on a continuous quest to adapt their lives and values to achieve inner peace. They're constantly aware and somewhat fearful of losing touch with themselves. Since emotional excitement is usually an important part of the ENFP's life, and because they are focused on keeping "centered", the ENFP is usually an intense individual, with highly evolved values.

An ENFP needs to focus on following through with their projects. This can be a problem area for some of these individuals. Unlike other Extraverted types, ENFPs need time alone to center themselves, and make sure they are moving in a direction which is in sync with their values. ENFPs who remain centered will usually be quite successful at their endeavors. Others may fall into the habit of dropping a project when they become excited about a new possibility, and thus they never achieve the great accomplishments which they are capable of achieving.

Most ENFPs have great people skills. They are genuinely warm and interested in people, and place great importance on their inter-personal relationships. ENFPs almost always have a strong need to be liked. Sometimes, especially at a younger age, an ENFP will tend to be "gushy" and insincere, and generally "overdo" in an effort to win acceptance. However, once an ENFP has learned to balance their need to be true to themselves with their need for acceptance, they excel at bringing out the best in others, and are typically well-liked. They have an exceptional ability to intuitively understand a person after a very short period of time, and use their intuition and flexibility to relate to others on their own level.

Because ENFPs live in the world of exciting possibilities, the details of everyday life are seen as trivial drudgery. They place no importance on detailed, maintenance-type tasks, and will frequently remain oblivous to these types of concerns. When they do have to perform these tasks, they do not enjoy themselves. This is a challenging area of life for most ENFPs, and can be frustrating for ENFP's family members.

An ENFP who has "gone wrong" may be quite manipulative - and very good it. The gift of gab which they are blessed with makes it naturally easy for them to get what they want. Most ENFPs will not abuse their abilities, because that would not jive with their value systems.

ENFPs sometimes make serious errors in judgment. They have an amazing ability to intuitively perceive the truth about a person or situation, but when they apply judgment to their perception, they may jump to the wrong conclusions.

ENFPs who have not learned to follow through may have a difficult time remaining happy in marital relationships. Always seeing the possibilities of what could be, they may become bored with what actually is. The strong sense of values will keep many ENFPs dedicated to their relationships. However, ENFPs like a little excitement in their lives, and are best matched with individuals who are comfortable with change and new experiences.

Having an ENFP parent can be a fun-filled experience, but may be stressful at times for children with strong Sensing or Judging tendancies. Such children may see the ENFP parent as inconsistent and difficult to understand, as the children are pulled along in the whirlwind life of the ENFP. Sometimes the ENFP will want to be their child's best friend, and at other times they will play the parental authoritarian. But ENFPs are always consistent in their value systems, which they will impress on their children above all else, along with a basic joy of living.

ENFPs are basically happy people. They may become unhappy when they are confined to strict schedules or mundane tasks. Consequently, ENFPs work best in situations where they have a lot of flexibility, and where they can work with people and ideas. Many go into business for themselves. They have the ability to be quite productive with little supervision, as long as they are excited about what they're doing.

Because they are so alert and sensitive, constantly scanning their environments, ENFPs often suffer from muscle tension. They have a strong need to be independent, and resist being controlled or labeled. They need to maintain control over themselves, but they do not believe in controlling others. Their dislike of dependence and suppression extends to others as well as to themselves.

ENFPs are charming, ingenuous, risk-taking, sensitive, people-oriented individuals with capabilities ranging across a broad spectrum. They have many gifts which they will use to fulfill themselves and those near them, if they are able to remain centered and master the ability of following through.

Jungian functional preference ordering for ENFP:

Dominant: Extraverted Intuition
Auxiliary: Introverted Feeling
Tertiary: Extraverted Thinking
Inferior: Introverted Sensing

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
from http://www.personalitypage.com/html/portr…

you can take the test at http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtype…

And it was great! Here's a glowing review from a San Diego website: http://www.sandiego.com/arts/la-jolla-symphony-and-chorus-present-benjamin-britten-war-requiem

Yeay us!

I'm looking forward to our 2010-11 season which features Missa Solemnis, Harmonium Mass, and St. Matthew's Passion. Woohoo!

I am grateful:
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27) that L. went shopping with me.
I don't like shopping, and it helped immensely to have company. Also, I was happy to join a musical friend at her favorite pub for some fabulous caroling with instruments. Electric cellos rock!

28) that my loves get along.
It's important to me that the people who are closest to me know one another. I'm truly grateful that R. and L. not only know each other, but have developed a good friendship.

29) that I sang in an episcopalian church as a child.
R. and I went to Christmas eve mass at the church I grew up singing in. I have recently come to appreciate the openness of this church, and went out of my way to tell them so. I was never told that it wasn't okay for me to be there, even though I was not a parishioner, and I was also never told that who I was wasn't okay. I'm grateful because I now know that this would not have been true at many other churches.

30) for family.
Even though I couldn't be with my bio-family for Christmas, I was with my chosen family, and that was wonderful. Yeay for Cheesy Potatoes!!!

31) that R. wants to drive most of the time.
Unfortunately she is also human, and rear-ended someone in the madness. Fortunately everyone was okay, but the insurance will need to be dealt with. R. then drove all the way up to N. Hollywood so we could see friends and back. I don't like driving, and can get stressed out in the passenger seat.

32) for new toys!
Yeah, I like new toys. R. and I both got new phones, since she needed one, and they were on sale at sprint. We also have a new gaming system, that can play my old games, so that made me super happy. We also got to give presents, which I love to do. (I don't like the shopping, but the giving is fun!)

33) that I have many friends who are happy to listen to me.
I often will talk with someone who I haven't seen in a bit, and they'll remind me that they are a phone call away. I am very grateful for all of the people in my life who I love dearly, but don't have the time/energy to maintain frequent contact with. You know who you are. Knowing that you all are in my life and willing to connect when we can sustains me, even if I don't reach out at that moment.

I am grateful:
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13) that my car works, and my parking karma is generally good.
I've been living mostly without my car since moving, but when I need it, I'm very grateful that it's there. Oh, also very grateful that R. and I went out and had yummy food before the surgery. The memory of the reuben sandwish and latkes sustains me.

14) for dental insurance.
I had my wisdom teeth removed. OUCH!

15) that my mom got me a Magic Bullet.
I used to to make smoothies and to blend various foods while I was sick. I should use it more often.

16) for pain medication.
The G.A. drugs wore off, and I started really hurting.

17) that I got to see J. and K. (even though I was a sad, loopy gopher).
Also that Baja Betty's had Lobster Bisque that was super nummy. This was the peak of the swelling-- I looked rather ridiculous.

18) that my friends came over and painted ornaments and I had a great time for most of it.
Everyone was wonderful and supportive for the period of time when I just needed to curl up with my frozen peas on the couch. And we watched Bedknobs and Broomsticks!

19) for sick leave and an understanding boss.
I was still in a lot of pain, so I went to see the doctor again. I am also grateful that R. took the morning off to take me (can't drive on the drugs).

20) that I have many tools and lot of support to work through my emotions.
I sent a response to an email that was from someone in pain, and got a brusque response. I'm grateful that I can let go of it much easier than I would have in the past.

21) for the cessation of pain.
I actually had some pain-free time without drugs for the first time since the surgery. Unfortunately, it got worse in the evening, so I canceled plans to go sing with the chorus (which probably would have exacerbated things anyway).

Woohoo! I'm caught up to today!!

I am grateful:
( previous )
12) for a good (non-leaking!) roof over my head, working utilities and public services.

I was telling N. about my holiday challenge, and she reminded me of all the things that we tend to take for granted. I remember reading about a problem in the Indian sub-continent where some people wanted to ban plastic bags because people would use them as makeshift toilets and it made a big mess. I'm grateful that I have working plumbing connected to a waste treatment system (that will probably dump sewage into the water because of the rain, but still). I'm grateful for my drinkable water that comes out of the tap, and the electricity that rarely goes out. I'm grateful for the trash pickup that comes regularly.

It's raining a lot today. All of the idiots who don't know how to drive in the rain were on the road, of course. Ruby's had their retro night, so R. and I went for $2.70 burger and fries (ours were more because she got cheese and I got onion rings), and we split a chocolate turtle shake. So good!

I am grateful:
( previous )
9) for community.

Friday, R. and L. went with me to the Interclub Holiday party. It was great to see a lot of people I don't see that often, and a bunch of folks I had never met before. It was especially fun to be there with both of my loves, and I had a great time flitting around the room. I was a little disappointed that I wasn't able to organize cookie baking like last year, but a couple friends brought cookies that were awesome! All in all, a great way to end the work week.

10) that I know myself.

We had our holiday concert last night for San Diego Women's Chorus. I'm the secretary of the board, and my term is over at the end of the year. I love the chorus, and the community of women, and I need a break. I loved being a part of Sister Singer's in 2006. In fact, its the main reason I initially joined the chorus. I'm sad that I will miss Sister Singer's in Chicago next year, but I need to put some time and effort into developing my vocal ability. I intend to go back to the La Jolla Symphony Chorus (assuming I can get back in), and will be looking for a voice teacher. My goal is to audition for the San Diego Opera Chorus, or perhaps San Diego Light Opera. I'm nervous and excited to commit to this goal. I put together a tape in 2003 and was not invited for an audition. Eeek!