A full life

[ellienihon]

I live a full life. I have many interests, and if I get unbalanced in one direction or another, I generally come back to my love of other subjects. It works for me-- I don't have the ability or desire to focus all the time on one thing. I love my life. I enjoy exploring all my different interests and like to surround myself with people who have their own interests and can share the variety of their life with me.

Problem-- I don't really know, maybe it's a lack of people my own age, but I haven't found many people that I can exchange with. I think I'm a little too forward about sharing my stuff and don't listen enough. Part of it is a language problem, part of it is a needy thing (I really want to find some friends). But even when I ask about the other person, they don't talk, or they don't have anything to talk about. I really like the stuff I'm into, and if I get started on a subject, I can go on for a bit. I like to hear people talk about stuff they love, and I don't get why people won't talk about their pet subjects with me. I wonder if it's a cultural thing.

I have found one Japanese friend who likes to talk to me about her pet subjects, and some of it is stuff I get, and some of it's not, but I really enjoy spending time with her. Unfortunately, one friend does not a social life make. I have made steps to make some friends at choir, and I'm hoping that Miwa sensei might become a friend.

Problem, part 2 -- I'm not used to people reacting to the amount of things I'm interested in so much. I'm proud of the fact that I enjoy my life, and I have many interests and talents. I don't know how to deal with it when people are so complimentary and amazed that I am who I am.

What happened today-- The music teacher wanted to hear me play the piano, so we went up, and well, she was extremely complimentary, and I mentioned that I sing (it's been fun to sing at the other schools), and I got going talking about singing and such, and my experience in music, and she talked about her experience, and she started going on about how I was more qualified to be a music teacher than she was, and whatever... The point is, this is not the first time I've gotten this reaction, and it's incredibly difficult to deal with it. I want to lessen the distance between me and my coworkers, and this reaction widens it. At the same time, I do have these skills, and I want to share them with the kids. I also don't want to pretend to be less than I am in social situations. I'm just working on how to handle it.

If any of you have had similar experiences, please share.

Comments

[darkwombatdude.livejournal.com]

I don't want feedback on this right now, I need to think about it,

If any of you have had similar experiences, please share.

Contradictory instructions. I'll take the one that I prefer.

All I have to say on the matter is that you're not alone in the "I think I share too much" department. Something I need to realize is that while people may care about me as a person, quite often they don't care about what I'm saying at that particular moment. I feel I talk too much as well.

Here's to picking up listening skills.

[ellienihon.livejournal.com]

I don't want feedback on this right now, I need to think about it,

If any of you have had similar experiences, please share.

That was contradictory, and I apologize. I couldn't find the right word, but what I meant was I don't want feedback in the form of observations of myself, but I would like feedback by hearing others' experiences.

[markmc03.livejournal.com]

Hmm .. this isn't meant as feedback ... but it probably is. So I apologize in advance. You sound like a very self-aware person. I am always amazed at how many people aren't. They are self-obsessed instead of self-aware, and consequently they compare themselves to you and feel competitive. Instead of appreciating your talents, they feel their own inadequacies and possibly resent you for reminding them of their own shortcomings. I sometimes fall into that myself when I encounter a particularly talented individual. I should be enjoying their skill ... and if I make myself aware of what I am doing, I am able to bring myself back to that simple level of appreciation. I have heard the Japanese culture is very competitive. It is also a society of very specific manners. I'm sure I caused my hosts to lose face on several occasions, especially when I was leaving. I didn't mean to, it just happened that way. I won't give you feedback, but I will. Just be yourself and keep doing what you're doing. And forgive yourself regularly. It all sounds fascinating!

[ellienihon.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I was feeling a little sensitive when I wrote this. I went back and edited a little. I think what you said about the reaction I get is right. Have you had to deal with this yourself? I actually had another two teachers talk to me as I was heading out for Soccer practice, and they were going on a bit. I replied that there are plenty of things I can't do, like draw a straight line.